she wore whaaaa!!??!

so, this is a special post for the top 6 stinkers of the evening... oooOOOOooooo, they were so bad.

yikes, piper perabo. holy lord. what on earth are you wearing!?!? it's like a giant, tan, sheer garbage bag... and whatever honey is injecting in her face is aging her big time... she's such a pretty girl and this look is killing me. piper, fire the stylist. awful.

so, this is jessica chastian. if you aren't familiar with her work you should be, she is going to be the next mega actress. she is brilliant and usually well dressed, but there is nothing good about this givenchy gown. it makes a very tiny person, look... dare i say... dumpy. the hair and neckline just scream 80's. no ma'am.  

ahhhhh, buffy what the crap!?? smg is wearing marchesa and looks like cinderella on acid... and since when do we match our eyeshadow to our dress!? she is so cute and this just looks completely nutty...

what the bloody mother hell is going on here!?!? um, so zooey is absolutely the cutest person in existence, but this prada gown is disgusting. i can't find a single thing nice to say about this... i look forward to not looking at it anymore.

wowzas. so this is hottie that landed j.timberlake? color me confused. i don't get it... jessica biel is absolutely beautiful. flawless hair. flawless skin. as far as i can tell she is wearing a dress from bette white's alternates... it looks frumpy and if you look really hard it looks like she has a third boob. so much bad. 

oh madge. first, i hope to look like madonna when i'm 78 years old... or whatever she is, but this reem acra gown is just crazy-town from the waist down. and come on, the giant cross and the gloves? surely madonna has people reminding her that it's not 1987 anymore... you'd think?

who do you think was rocking the worst fashion at the golden globes!? are my choices spot on or what!?!?

what's the big deal with rooney mara!?

so, i'm confused. i get that rooney mara went crazy method transforming from your average preppy white girl to this "bad ass" by cutting her hair, piercing things, and dying her eye brows blonde... but i have to say, she got paid boat loads to do it... and if i'm not mistaken noomi rapace already did all of that in the successful swedish version. any who, i'm not trying to hate on mara as far as i can tell she talented and is just a pawn in all of this. her stylists are going wild with her and people are going cah-razy. personally, i think she's simply wearing things that tilda swinton would wear... she's just younger and, arguably more attractive. swinton has long been a big name among the avant-garde and fashion elite, i think the fashion world is forgetting how brilliant fashion can be because a pretty girl is wearing contrived "modern" fashion. i'm also not saying that her fashion is bad, i quite like it, i'm just bothered by how mesmerized everyone seems to be with her style when her point of view is not particularly new or different.

images via

okay, so maybe i just drank too much hateraid this morning, but am i completely off base? or are folks making a wee bit too big of a deal over mara's threads? what do you think!??!

sooooo i'm pretty sure she's perfect...

so, i'm just gonna throw this out there... i'm pretty sure diane kruger is perfect. her beautiful face and mile long legs aside, she has such a killer fashion sense that i can barely stand it. she's my absolute favorite on the red carpet. her insane street style is unparalleled, in my own expert opinion. she looks effortless whether she's in a gown or in jeans. i love that. here are a few of my recent favorites. 

in azzaro

in chanel

in prada

in vionnet

in d&g

in giambattista valli

in gucci

in chanel

i love this lady. she's fearless in her fashion and i think that we should all take something from that. it's only clothes, why not be daring!? have fun!! try an insanely high hem with a great pair of nude pumps. or play with ladylike lengths and shapes mixed with a funky shoe. don't be afraid to let the dress be the center of attention, you don't always need to pile on accessories... some times simpler is better. 

okay okay, so i very obviously have a mondo fashion crush on diane kruger! so tell me, who's fashion makes you this happy!? doooooo you have a fashion crush?! do you love mrs. pacey witter* as much as i do!? and if you get that random dawson's creek reference, we might be destined to be bestest best friends...

*she and joshua jackson aren't actually married, i just think it's delightful that they are dating. they seem so normal and happy. i would want someone to call me mrs. pacey witter if i was dating him. just saying

the teen choic---- who cares?

so, during my month long break the teen choice awards happened... i know, i know... who gives a flying shit?! buuuuut there was so much yuck that i had to discuss it with you. with all of the fabulous fashion in the world, these kids show their age and underdeveloped style... by wearing this ugly stuff. 

oh ashley greene... did you not get the memo? this isn't a ladies who lunch function! the dress is cute, but come on she looks like she's 50 years old... the color is super blah and i just find the overall look less than fabulous. 

holy sex kitten batman. lea michelle looks like she needs some bedroom action. did she not understand that this show is for teenagers? she looks like she is practicing her maxim poses. don't get me wrong she looks pretty great... but with the hair, the insane fake tan, and those skank-a-licious shoes and you get "trying to hard for a kids show" 

okay, i dig the ankle booties with the little spikes, but geez, no one at this show wore them properly! plus, IT'S STILL THE SUMMER! wear some damn strappy sandals. lucy hale, of pretty little liars(love), from the ankles up is super fabulous... but the shoes are just not the right choice. 

this is naya rivera and for those who are living under a rock last year, she is the fabulous santana on glee. i'm flipping OBSESSED with glee. now, i commend her on going with the fall trend of a full skirt... but she is young, hot, and has a rocking body... you would never know... this outfit ages her like a thousand years. i'll pass. 

now, this isn't the worst look i've seen on kristen bell... and trust me she has plenty of bad outfits to choose from... i like the idea of this dress. i think the shoes really throw me off. something isn't right... maybe the length of the skirt? too long or too short? i can't tell. as always, her hair and makeup are beautiful... but not loving this. 

that's a lot of ugly! oh yuck! poor little emma roberts! who did this to her!? the crazy bronze eyeshadow, the puke green bandage dress, and those weirdo browish booties... dear sweet jesus. this is more ugly than i can handle. she is usually so good on the red carpet, but this makes me want to vomit. not. loving. this. 

dear lord. do these kids not understand that it's summer! thigh high boots are for fall/winter! and definitely never with this dress! this is katerina graham from the vampire diaries(love)... girl needs a stylist stat. because there is so much tacky going on i don't even know what to make fun of first... the dress looks like a slow kid pasted on jewels with elemer's glue... and the lipstick is just tack-y! better luck  next time.

i am so tired of these bandage dresses. ugh! and wsdid hilary duff do her own hair!? because this is what my hair looks like when i'm cleaning the house. this just isn't styled well and for such a cutie she just looks boring. i will say that the color looks great on her. but that's about the only nice thing i have to say.

AH! what happened to kim kardashian's face!? so confused!? she looks so old and in the dress... she looks old and fat. this is not a flattering look on her mad curves. someone with such a rad body shouldn't wear things this drapey. something about the fit on her tatas and booty is just yuck! and it looks like she has been shot up with enough botox to inject nicole kidman, meg ryan, and the cast of the real housewives of new york... and new jersey. hey kim! please stop! you are very pretty and you don't need whatever you are doing...

so finally a look i like. worn by a grown up... go figure. this is yvonne strahovski, sarah on chuck. i like how simple and clean this is. the pop of color on the shoes is playful and perfect for the occasion. nothing bad to say... well maybe she went overboard on blush, but this it i swear. her legs are out-of-control!!!! 

this is demi--- no... miley--- no... miranda---no... this one is selena gomez. and she has great style. i never have to be too mean to her. she gets it. and i really dig this look! the white is fresh and airy. the shoes are super cool and normally i wouldn't love a shoe so high on the ankle, buuuut the color and tribal feel make them feel light and sexy. i like it... even though i still have no idea what she does...

so what do you think? were the teen choice awards as tragic as i make them out to be? who was your fave? who was a hot damn mess??

and you are?

so the teen choice awards were on over the weekend and like me, i'm betting you skipped them... much like our poor down and out sandy bullock. who the hell cheats on sweet sandy? what a douchebag! anywho, the people that did show up were... well... underwhelming to say the least. many of them will have you scratching your head saying, who? but c'est la vie, in our youth obbessed paparazzi culture these kids are here to stay, so i suppose i should learn their names... nah...

okay, this one is a demi lovato, she dates a jones brother and frankly, she always looks like a drag queen to me. she is waaaaay to young to wear so much freaking makeup. seriously. and this choice of dress and shoe combination is simply the most boring combo ever. the hoop earrings are bringing me back to the early 90's around the time this chick was born. grody. she is just too young to look so sad... i wasn't aware morticians were invited to the kids choice. huh.  

this is a selena gomez, she may also date a jonas brother... or she used to... or something. i actually really like the christian cota dress. it's really cute, the braid is super chic, and the shoes are nice. overall, she is very on trend and looks pretty fabulous... considering she is like 14 or 15 this look might be a bit grown up because she looks much older... this isn't bad. way to go whoever you are!?

this is a miranda cosgrove and i truly have no idea who she is... i thought she was demi lovato in another dress... but then i looked more closely and she looks way too asian... and you know i know my asians... she kind of looks like a mini catherine zeta-jones. yeah? the dress is okay, the length is kind of wonky. the louboutin's are fabulous and i dig the dark polish, but overall this is not memorable. better luck next time random disney girl!

i actually just threw up in my mouth! what is this!? who allowed them to think that this is okay behavior? the spice girls didn't even dress this badly... ok... well at least they didn't match. i honestly have no words for this catastrophic mess. the gold jacket, the skinny tie, the midriff, the gingham skirts... holy lord, i am going to vomit............ okay, no vomit, but i am scarred.

 

yay, it's nikki reed!!!! finally, someone i know, thank you twilight for giving me a connection to teen stars. and as always, she looks nice. she is a beautiful girl and it's kinda hard for her to look bad. this look

is lovely on her and it works for the event. and my god she wasn't meant to be a blonde, brunette is so much more becoming on her.  

lalala, kiss girls like katy perry... that's from a rap song... not sure which one... anyways, i don't get it... i don't get the music, the style, the fandamoniom that surrounds her... i just don't get it. i mean she's kind of a poor man's zooey deschanel... she is very pretty and has a cute voice, but i really don't get it. and this outfit, don't even get me started. what's with the stupid little bangs!?!? they don't work on anyone, but betty page... the dress is just so vegas... i'll pass. 

now, zoe saldana is a beauty and the tiniest person on the planet. this look would be great for a casual lunch date, but jeans and tee to an award show? not cool. i mean it fits her great, but she just looks so polite. i don't know, i am not feeling this. she is stunning though. 

i love me some rosario dawson, but this ensemble is soooo not flattering. she has an interesting shape... she is tall and thin, but has the biggest boobies and her waist isn't suuuper teeny-tiney, she's apple shaped... so this blousey dress just makes her look wide and she is sooooooo not wide. maybe if the waist was better defined. i expect more.  

wow, well, tyra's body looks amazing and the dress fits her well and shows it off... but the yellow accessories are just nasty! i mean that's something i would have done in 10th grade... plus, the mustard-ketchup thing is just too obvious. this is not good fashion. 

um, okay. cute outfit, it works, nice and chill for the event... but jada!? the hair!? what is going on!!? this is a tragic hairstyle on a seriously beautiful woman. i'm sorry. not good. it just seems like she is trying too hard to be a bad ass. and she doesn't need to try much, i mean, she's jada pinkett-smith for god sakes... no more of this please!? 

okay, do you know why i love this outfit? i'll tell you. a. rihanna is perfect and b. she looks like a modern day material girl. right!? she is totally like a virgin madonna in this outfit. i love the sleeves, the color, the neckline... i just like it... sure it's weird, but it works for me... plus, she's perfect. 

some jailbait eye candy for the road...

oh my holy lord yay, the oscars are a day away...

that rhymed...hehehe. so i am  just in full on oscar mode! movies and dresses...does that mean that i am in full on oscar mode pretty much all the time, hmmm...well, what can i say i love movies, dresses, and all things fancy!!!! so, i just can't wait for all of the beautiful and all of the tragic that is going to occur!!! as for today, hubby and i had to run some errands and i just threw together an outfit that i am actually pretty proud of...i think i looked cute. so check it out. 

see how excited i am!? that's me saying...yay oscars...

what i'm wearing: martin & osa boyfriend jeans, husbands belt, honey punch tee, forever 21 scarf, urban outfitters watch, and steve madden florale flats. 

so there's my cute little comfy outfit! i hope you are pumped about the oscars and i hope you will come back monday for my complete breakdown, i promise complete honesty and a ton of sarcasm!!!! so tell me who are you excited to see on the red carpet? who do you think is going to look great? and who's gonna be a hot mess?! yay oscars!!!!!

it's bananas, everyone in hollywood is at the same place! free botox?

or it could just be the valentine's day premiere, for serious, who isn't in this movie!? i want to watch it and i am totally not ashamed,...okay, so i'm kinda ashamed, but it looks funny in a love, actually sort of way, plus my favorite jen garner is in it! i'm sold! 

three of my favorite people looking seriously fabulous!!! jen and anne are my favorites and jessica biel is pretty close behind in oscar de la renta. i love the white/red/pink, it's very cha cha, she gets points off for the hem, which is crazy bad, i can't find a picture to post, trust me. she's redeemed by the hair and makeup, both are flawless, good work ms. timberlake. do you think they planned this look? because they look perfectly mismatched. love it. 

aww, how sweet? happy family reunion. julia looking classy and simple, ehm and slightly boring in dior and emma looking stunning and glitzy in jenny packham, ehm and a bit older than necessary. But the white and black thing is super cute. my lord i wish julia roberts was my aunt...don't get me wrong i have greaaaaat family, but man i could have been NANCY DREW!!!! best movie ever. 

another family photo op. demi moore looked amazing in her white chanel. she seriously has found the fountain of botox...i mean youth! how does she do it?! I call complete bollocks on "it's all natural"! fess up! what's the balance!? teach nicole kidman how to plump up and look human! any who, ashton kutcher looked super cute, i love the colorful tie tucked into the sweater...very j.timberlake. rumer willis is always so freaking rock star, the sheer top is very va-va voom and her date looks nice too...

my two favorite looks and i bet they were both styled by rachel zoe...i just put that together, totally!! i thought my girl jennifer garner looked amazing! her valentino dress is so rocker pretty. The loose hair and fresh makeup, kept it pretty. I just love the mixture in patterns, fabrics, and embellishments. her body is just fierce. the shoes are a bit boring, but they are appropriate for jen. she's wearing red nail polish...i don't think i have ever noticed her in a nail color...random. and yay, anne hathaway, my doppelganger, i want to play her sister in a movie sooooo bad. this marchesa is beautiful! the color is amazing on her fair skin and again, the mixture of fabrics, feathers, and so much pretty! and i loooove her shoes...the satin and the funny platform make it more fun than garner's. 

 

i'm a bit unsure of this look on jessica alba...it seems a bit much...the dress is proenza schouler and is crazy cute. i'm also totally digging the bracelets and as always her makeup is beautiful. but she is gonna fail because of those terrible matchy-matchy shoes and that hair?! it looks like she got caught in a rain storm...is it still wet? too much gel? i don't know, but whatever it is it's not working for me. better luck next time.