oscars 2012.

so i love the oscars. i know that they are all politically charged. i know that they are long and boring. i know hollywood can be full of shit. but i freaking love them. LOVE. right now, i am crying my eyes out as i watch the show. there is something about the tradition and the beautiful formality of it all. i become a giddy little kid... i swore i'd win an oscar when i was a kid... ah dreams... but the dresses. oh the dresses.

i had my first oscar red carpet party tonight and was so excited that people actually showed up... i should mention i did provide wine, so i can't be guaranteed they actually came to hang out with me... one can hope... it was so fun to not have to sit there alone with my notepad and my poor husband writing down dress designers when i had to go to the bathroom. i like girl-ing out and i feel so blessed to have wonderful friends that like me for the weirdo i am. so much fun.

okay, so the actual dresses. there were some amazing gowns... unfortunately there weren't many uggos. boo. pastel seemed to be the shade of the evening with a touch of black and a splash of red, but i won't keep you in suspense any longer!!!!!! My top 5 choices of the night were... drum roll please, oh whatever.

1. oh shut up. just shut up. OBSESSED. if you read llo you know that i am in love with michelle williams. love her. she's insanely talented and absolutely breathtaking. this louis vuitton is brilliant. the color is un-freaking-believable. and i love that her pink purse and coral lipstick are both pinky, but not matchy matchy. she is a vision. best dressed hands down!

2. how perfect is gwyneth paltrow!?!? so freaking perfect. this tom ford dress and cape are absolutely ah-maze-balls. she is just so naturally beautiful. come on, right!?!? the epitome of simple elegance. 

3. sexy angie is back!!!!!! ohmylordy. the versace is vavavoom. holy bananas. i love the lighter hair and the red/orange lip. she's insane. i am so sick of the angie hate. jen has moved on and has done her fair amount of home wrecking, so get over it. angie is AH-mazing and she looked like a real movie star.

4. kristen wiig aka "not" drew barrymore looked out-of-control hot. this j.mendel is so beautiful. everything about the styling of this look is my personal style. the dark nail polish, the stacked diamond bangles, the random gold rings. perfection!!!

5. holy crap milla jovovitch is effing hot. this elie saab is white hot. lol. pun intended. what?! i'm tired. this gown is so sexy and it's not even trying. her hair and makeup are classic hollywood. i love how delicate her jewels and clutch are... she's amazing and she kills zombies, yeah i love her.

another elie saab stunner. kate mara, rooney's sister, is an actress in some pretty awful movies, but she looks absolutely beautiful... i feel like this was what jessica alba was trying to accomplish at the golden globes. it's sexy and romantic and i love the weirdo sleeve. beautiful. 

yet ANOTHER pastely elie saab on berenice bejo... another beautiful dress. this one is a little less successful than the 2 previous, but berenice is so absolutely beautiful and decidedly french.  i adore her earrings and her weird hairdo. 

yay!!!!! octavia spencer won!!!!!! brilliant lady!!!! and this tadashi shoji is a STUNNER!!!! she looks thin and curvy and straight up sexy!!! her hair and makeup were flawless. so happy for her. so much love.

jessica chastain is what i like to call a genius!!! and this alexander mcqueen is beautiful. it had to grow on me a bit, but the dress is really a work of art and she is so pretty. can't say anything mean.

oh emma. i am a little disappointed in emma stone. she's so awesome. so hilarious. this giambattista valli gown is actually very beautiful, but is it just me or is this practically the same thing as nicole kidman's balenciaga she wore to the 2007 oscars?? i can't get past it. way too similar. i should note one of my guests, bree, picked this as her top choice, but only because i wouldn't let her pick the random asian pr woman in the lavender gown standing behind someone... i have wonderful friends.

how young and hot does cameron diaz look?!? this gucci is so beautiful. i'm surprised, but i absolutely love the skirt. can't get over how young that white blonder hair makes her look!! sexy.

meryl streep, you did it again. damn her and her insane talent. i love this lanvin, it fits her kooky style perfectly. excited for her to win, she's a classy lady.

george clooney's girlfriend is in a straight off the runway marchesa. lucky bitch. i feel bad for her though... cause eventually he will dump her... such a bachelor.

um, okay. my feelings are kinda hurt... i feel like natalie portman just phoned this one in... does she even care!?!?! this is a weird dress, right?!?! i like the idea of polka dots on a formal gown, but this one isn't doing the trick. i do NOT like the shape. 

unimpressed. penelope cruz is a beauty but i gotta say this armani prive is just annoyingly similar to cinderella's dress... the shape feels old fashion and i'm just not digging it.

glenn close is one sexy old lady and this zac posen is so kick ass. i love the lines and the color, totally age appropriate, but come on a matching blazer, is she mother of the bride!? i don't like it.

oh dear. i'm so torn about this look. viola davis is hands down one of the best actresses EVER and truth be told i really wanted her to win tonight... really really bad. c'est la vie. and i want to love this look, i do, but the vera wang dress is beautiful, the color is perfection on her. i love the jewels and the makeup... but why, oh why did she did she color her hair? it's so orange-y and it blends in to her skin. it would be great darker... i don't know it doesn't rock my boat.

good ole tiny fey. so from neck up this is absolute perfection. i love her hair and her makeup. but the carolina hererra gown is just okay... i am so flippin tired of seeing her in black or navy or black. she would look brilliant in some color, real color.

i really wanted to love this marina rinaldi gown because melissa mccarthy seems like the most lovely, funny, and genuine person, but so much is wrong with the gown. the sleeves add unnecessary bulk to the top half of the dress and really ruin the look for me... i also would've preferred this in a great bright burgundy... or i don't know any other color, i just really don't like this weird nude-tawny rose color.

there she is again. same damn hair as the last 30 times we've seen her... rooney mara is an interesting character... i don't hate this givenchy, in fact it fits beautifully and the back is absolutely stunning... on anyone else i'd think it was pretty great, but since i'm super over this girl and her euro-trash bangs, i despise it. plus, the boobies are super weird and unflattering. annoyed. 

so there i said it! but who cares what i think!?!? what do you think!? best dressed? worst dressed!? do you agree with my picks? tell me! because comments validate my life.

some oscar ugly...

so these 3 gowns were most definitely my least favorite and i was disappointed because all 3 ladies are usually amazing. so i'm just being nit-picky, but it's the oscars people you gotta bring your A game!! 

we all know how much i love sandy. she's funny, down to earth, and just plain kick ass. but this marchesa dress is ghastly. it's a very unflattering waistline and the droopy top creates the very interesting illusion that her boobs and midsection are all one oddly shaped piece. i don't know... i'm sorry, but this is terrible. i do love her ring and clutch. the dress just doesn't work for me.

hmmmmm, jennifer lopez is beautiful. stunning. gorgeous. but the dress, oh the dress. it's zuhair murad and i don't know... most of my guests voted her worst dressed... the weird sheer sleeve cut out made her arm look wrinkly, we looked dangerously close to a nip sleep, and she just looked like a stuffed sausage. i can see how the lines of this dress would be flattering, but something is off... i think if her hair was down that i would be more inclined to like it... just sort of off.

all photos via

so shailene woodley is 22... 22 going on 245. this valentino is matronly and gives off that i live in a compound with bill paxton and ginnifer goodwin. i'm sorry this is awful. she is so beautiful and has worn some great gowns that i am absolutely shocked that this is what she went with. nothing makes this better. helen mirrin is too young for this dress. ew. ew. ew. ew.

it's the freaking catalina wine mixer... i mean the 2011 oscars...

hooray, hooray, hooray. it's the freaking oscars!!!! omg. it's like my super bowl. for reals, i had hor d'oeuvres, wine, cupcakes, champagne. it's like... the best night ever ;) okay, maybe not, but it's pretty genius. all of hollywood celebrating ah-mazing films and ah-mazing fashion. my 2 favorite things in the world. sigh. the fashion was very neutral with very few hot damn messes. the colors of the night, in my expert opinion, were lavender, red, and icy pale shades of white. fashion was kept very low key, minimal... dare i say boring. well, here are the best and the worst. enjoy. 

collective sigh. perfection. ohmylordy. just sheer perfection. michelle williams is like the perfect pixie, fairy, modern day audrey hepburn. now, i don't take comparisons to audrey lightly. at all. she's the queen of all things classy and style. whoa tangent. back to the glorious michelle in a chanel gown, she's just perfect. the gown is simple but so interesting. her icy blonde hair, strong brow, and pink lip. genius. all genius. obviously she's my favorite.

so, meg griffin is a totally hottie. wowzas. mila kunis. holy hot batman. when i first caught a glimpse of her elie saab i was underwhelmed, but once i saw it move as she walked i was sold. the panels of chiffon give way to these panels of sheer lace that are just uber sexy. i love the lack of jewels. she looks like a real, grown up actress. i think it's beautiful.

say you had a terrible, no good, jack ass husband who destroyed your marriage after last years oscars... i'm thinking this is how you say "eff you" to the son-of-a-bitch. sandy bullock is brilliant in this vera wang. i think she looks outstanding. the orange- red color is stunning paired with her pale skin and dark hair. i think she just looks beautiful. personally, i like this better than her winning gown. sorry. don't throw things. she looks ah-mazing.

geez louise, jennifer hudson is a babe. a super hot babe. i am loving the color of this gown. so bold, so sexy. is anyone else surprised that this is a versace... it's so classy. i love the jewels, oh so very much. the hair is a bit wonky, but because she is that hot now... i don't care. you rock jennifer! 

another babe!!! a crazy pregnant babe. natalie portman is stunning and absolutely radiant in her rodarte gown. the color is superb on her skin. i love the tassel earring, but i'm slightly disappointed that they are so matchy. she really does look beautiful. the gown is perfect for her growing belly... hmm... well... truth be told, she looks great, but i feel like i was hoping for more... but she is beautiful and she deserved that oscar!!! she was brilliant. 

people tell me i look like anne hathaway... a lot. but i have to say it's photos like these where i want to tell people you are smoking crack!!! she is stunning. i mean her skin is flawless, her lips and eyes are insanely large, and she's just beautiful!! i absolutely loved this valentino on her. it was slimming and lengthening. she did a brilliant job hosting, i mean, is there anything that she can't do!?!? answer. no. she's super woman in a ball gown. all of her hosting looks rocked my socks. loved the fringey one, the red one, the white corseted one... they were all beautiful. love. annie. hathaway.

hilary swank is rocking this gucci dress. truly. she looks so feminine and sexy. and i think that she has a tendency to look boyish, but this is just decadent and girly. i adore her little up do. it's hard to see how pretty it is from these angles, but i just admire how she seems to try and really go out of her fashion comfort zones. i dig it.

it's hard to say something bad about this monique lhuillier gown. mandy moore looks like such a lady. everything is perfectly put into place. almost too perfectly put into place. i mean, she's 26 this just seems a bit old. i think that the gown is beyond perfect, it's sheer done right. i also adore her makeup. the coral lip is out-of-control... my problem is with the middle part, low bun. hello school marm. and with the 1980's dynasty clip on earring. not cool. a messy updo and a funky earring and boom instant perfect. oh-so very close.

now, i am very rarely a fan of halle berry's fashion, mostly cause she stole a well deserved oscar from nicole kidman... yes, i hold a grudge ;) but this marchesa is delightful. she's a beautiful woman and has a rockin bod, but as my mom said, "get a new hair cut!!!"

holy dance cardio batman. gwyneth paltrow is a goddess. a tall, leggy, blonde, tall goddess with insanely long legs. did i mention that she has perfect legs. ugh. she is really just beautiful. i love her bone straight hair, neutral makeup, and i almost love the dress. the thing that keeps me from just adoring this look is the odd little dropped waist beaded thing. so odd. other than that, this calvin klein looks like liquid metal. love.

nicole kidman is slowly getting her face back. i'm so glad she's easing up on the botox. and she's almost a red head!!!!! hooray!!! i adore her simple ponytail. now, i'm gonna get a ton of crap for this, but i am loving this dior. i know it's odd, but i really like it. the necklace is genius. i want. the pink shoes are a bit much, i like it. i don't know why... whatever. attack. 

so who let the crazy bag lady into the oscars!? what the duck is with scarjo's hair. this d&g is just weird. you are supposed to show up to these things post-breakup looking hot. this is just off. i really can't say i take much good away from this look.

what in the dear sweet lord is going on here!? marisa tomei is a strange one on the red carpet, it's either perfect or painstakingly bad. take a gander what this is!?

my mom liked this. i had to disagree. BIG TIME. what the devil is going on here? this is like austin power fembot bad. what's up with the hair!? it's terrible, right? and the dress, help me out here... it's like a strange waiters uniform. this just did so very little for me. it's a shame 'cause i love me some reese. 

ah cate blanchett. this is a tough one. there is a part of me that loves this givenchy, but the rest of me sorta wants to vomit. i can't figure it out. i like part of the gown the waist and skirt is beautiful, but the strong shoulders are just so runway... i don't know... her hair and makeup look stellar, but i don't know it's like she's wearing a freaking lavender suit of armor.

when i saw this i was like, did jennifer lawrence wear her nightgown to the oscars!?!? and then i was like okay, her hair and makeup are pretty. then i was like, oh lord this is practically the same valentino scarjo wore to the golden globes a few years back!?!?! then she said that calvin klein's francisco costa made it just for her. confused!? me too. i'm just super bored with this. been there, done that scarlett has much bigger boobs. 

you know what? hailee steinfeld is like 14 years old. and ya know what? in this marchesa, that she helped design, she looks 14. i love it. if it were on an adult, we would have problems. it's nice to see a kid dress like a kid. if you make fun of her your an ass.

dear amy adams. i do not like this l'wren scott dress. the shape is weird. feels sorta suffocating. the necklace is way yucky with it. a nice pair of earrings would've worked better. the sleeves are super weird. they should be longer. but amy is going to be walking many, many, many more red carpets so she'll make it up to me.

i love that busy phillips was michelle williams date. the met whilest filming dawson creek. love that. i think she looked pretty fabulous. her earrings are lovely.

helen mirren is one sexy dame. mmmmm. so hot. and i love that she can handle her own when paired with one russell brand. who by the way, i am in love with. i think this is a glorious color on her. and the vivienne westwood fits her perfectly. the bodice is genius. the necklace could be way shorter, what's up with that. but she is a rock star. do as you please helen.

hello boobies!!!!! geez oh petes. that's a lotta tot. she like just had a baby. like literally 15 minutes ago. and are you kidding me. she looks beautiful. my womanly intuition says that she was not comfortable in her skin. but this l'wren scott was beautiful, but something was off with her. i could sense it.

egads! what the duck is happening with this valentino!? i know the prairie thing is in, but dude, i believe it's possible to take a trend too literally, this would totally be that situation. no bueno.

oh dear. melissa leo. melissa. melissa. melissa. oh geez. wow. geez. this is a custom marc boward. and well, the neckline is lovely and her hair/makeup are stunning. annnnnnnd yeah, that's the only nice thing i could say about this look. so bad. well it's a good thing that she is a killer great actress. congrats melissa!

someone got a little too black swan happy. ummmm. this romona keveza is so not good. why is virginia madsen at the oscars... holy crap is it 2004?

helena bonham carter is a crazed lunatic. a genius, fabulous crazed lunatic. she is just brilliant. this colleen atwood costume is just so not great... BUT. but. as far as hbc goes this is mild. her hair is insane, but looks polished. her makeup looks brilliant... professional. i think that this is a small success.

so, there we have it folks! the oscars!!! yay!!!! so, here's the fun part!!! whatcha think!?!? did i get it all right!? or did i get it all wrong!? who was your favorite of the evening? and who missed the mark!?!? go ahead comment, it's fun. and keep reading this week for a chance to enter a super fun giveaway. i mean come on, it's super fun!!!

loved it.

so as you all know, the oscars were on last night... exciting!!! well...i don't want to be a debbie-downer, but i was seriously bored to tears!!!!! i know...just so much boring and been-done-before nonsense. but the show was actually really entertaining, i love steve martin more than you will ever know!!! but i just kept thinking to myself...where are all the famous people?! i mean, i know there were some amazing names in that room, but where were nicole kidman, anne hathaway, kate hudson, marion cotillard... we were just missing some of our most exciting dressers, yet miley cyrus got an invite? huh? well, there were some amazing gowns... three to be exact and i had to look at them a lot before my initial admiration turned to love, but love did indeed blossom. so here are my three favorite dresses.

does it even surprise you!? diane kruger is a fox and a fashion maven. i wasn't sure if i loved this, but after all of the wretched boringness that was on the carpet, this chanel gown is just genius! it's interesting and fun and fresh. i love the details! the flowers are soooo on trend and the colors...perfect. i love the high neckline and low back... she may just be perfect. her hair and makeup were flawless and i loved the little sparkly whatnot in her hair! the only thing missing was pacey witter. i die. perfection. 

yay! i am soooo glad someone wore this. i thought diane might, but zoe saldana looks like perfection in this givenchy piece of art! it's just so interesting and fun and it feels whimsical and happy!!! and that's a lot of ands... she is one of the most beautiful ladies and her confidence really helps make this dress work. her hair and makeup couldn't be any more perfect! this is just happy! i know it's a lot of dress, but it's just so much fun and it's still so flattering to the figure while being this crazy huge gown... genius. i'm in love. 

now this pick actually surprises me. when i first saw this prada gown on carey mulligan, i thought it was really pretty, but the more i look the better and better it gets. first, the sparkle and random shit(they are little charms, knives, forks, scissors) all along the bodice is genius! i love how the sparkle spreads out in the skirt. and that hemline is delightful! it's just as sweet and cute as carey herself!!! those shoes and those earrings are the most perfect accessories, they are both so bold and just ah-mazing! and holy lord, i wish i could pull of that hair! she is so absolutely adorable! and this is a nice gown, that was styled brilliantly! can't wait to see more from this chick.