loved it.

so as you all know, the oscars were on last night... exciting!!! well...i don't want to be a debbie-downer, but i was seriously bored to tears!!!!! i know...just so much boring and been-done-before nonsense. but the show was actually really entertaining, i love steve martin more than you will ever know!!! but i just kept thinking to myself...where are all the famous people?! i mean, i know there were some amazing names in that room, but where were nicole kidman, anne hathaway, kate hudson, marion cotillard... we were just missing some of our most exciting dressers, yet miley cyrus got an invite? huh? well, there were some amazing gowns... three to be exact and i had to look at them a lot before my initial admiration turned to love, but love did indeed blossom. so here are my three favorite dresses.

does it even surprise you!? diane kruger is a fox and a fashion maven. i wasn't sure if i loved this, but after all of the wretched boringness that was on the carpet, this chanel gown is just genius! it's interesting and fun and fresh. i love the details! the flowers are soooo on trend and the colors...perfect. i love the high neckline and low back... she may just be perfect. her hair and makeup were flawless and i loved the little sparkly whatnot in her hair! the only thing missing was pacey witter. i die. perfection. 

yay! i am soooo glad someone wore this. i thought diane might, but zoe saldana looks like perfection in this givenchy piece of art! it's just so interesting and fun and it feels whimsical and happy!!! and that's a lot of ands... she is one of the most beautiful ladies and her confidence really helps make this dress work. her hair and makeup couldn't be any more perfect! this is just happy! i know it's a lot of dress, but it's just so much fun and it's still so flattering to the figure while being this crazy huge gown... genius. i'm in love. 

now this pick actually surprises me. when i first saw this prada gown on carey mulligan, i thought it was really pretty, but the more i look the better and better it gets. first, the sparkle and random shit(they are little charms, knives, forks, scissors) all along the bodice is genius! i love how the sparkle spreads out in the skirt. and that hemline is delightful! it's just as sweet and cute as carey herself!!! those shoes and those earrings are the most perfect accessories, they are both so bold and just ah-mazing! and holy lord, i wish i could pull of that hair! she is so absolutely adorable! and this is a nice gown, that was styled brilliantly! can't wait to see more from this chick. 

liked it.

these gowns are nice...not stunning, not brilliant, but nice. these women are all beautiful and look beautiful. i am just less than impressed.

you know how i simply adore anna kendrick and this elie saab is just fabulous...kinda. no, she looks stunning. her hair and makeup are just beautiful. i love the delicate jewelry and sweet chiffon and lace. the shoes are my fave!!! but the color...i mean it's a beautiful and on trend color...but it just blends in to her skin color so much...she looks great...i am just underwhelmed. she's amazing. 

some more elie saab, marz is going to be in heaven!!! rachel mcadams looks great. i love the hair and makeup! don't get me started on those earring i would steal them!!! the dress is very pretty and it fits her great, but i mean, yawn...it's water colored chiffon...not super exciting. it was nice. 

why the devil is this kid here?! when i was a kid, the people on my television shows, stayed on my shows. there is no reason for this young lady to be at the oscars... she has done, what? two feature films and one of them is based on a fictional musical character that sings to a bunch of children... but i will say, miley cyrus looked pretty great in this jenny packham gown. i love the bodice and the skirt is just stunning, i adore that it looks like separates! the jewels and the dark nails are very fresh, but that hair is killing me...it's nice to see her massive hair extensions getting a rest, but this hairstyle ages her and keeps me from just loving this... 

yay, my darling kristen stewart looking like a little lady! i was hoping to see her in color, but this monique lhuillier looks pretty fabulous on her. it fit's amazingly well. i like all of the fabric work, it's nice. her hair and makeup also look stunning! so good for her. it's not perfect, but it's nice. and she's even kind of smiling in the photo on the left. plus, she almost looks to be standing up straight in these photos! plus, her hair is a vast improvement from the past few red carpets. good for her. 

this is the best meryl streep has looked in ages! this chris march gown is absolutely stunning!!! i just love this. i would wear this! i am shocked how much i love this!! but at the same time, it's not wildly interesting, it's just a pretty, well fitting dress and that's not enough for my top picks...

helen mirren is one sexy cougar! and i quite like this badgley mischka gown. i don't love the necklace and i feel like her hair was an afterthought...but she is freaking helen mirren, so she could wear a trash bag and she would still be a genius. plus, she has a great rack. 

from the waist up, this look is perfection. right!? the hair, makeup, necklace, bodice are perfection!!! i even love the color!!! but from the waist down this ysl gown just looks like a bad fashion school project! what happened!?  right?! even the stitching along the hem and slit look like i freaking sewed it! and trust me, that's a bad thing! 

now, this is how you dress a curvy woman! queen latifah just looks stunning! i love the beaded detail on the strap that flows down into the bodice...it's just great! the fit is out of control good, but i am not a huge fan of the color. it's looks great on her, but it keeps me from falling in love. 

way to go mo'nique! she definitely deserved her award, but i will say watching her in the press room after... well... maybe she was all amped up from her win, but was crazy super rude and overly dramatic... i can't explain it, weird. it was weird. but i did get an explanation for her ensemble which was borrowed from the outfit best supporting actress hattie mcdaniel's wore at the 1939 ceremonies. her gown is tadashi and is pretty stinking fabulous...but i'm sorry, i understand that the flower was a nod to mcdaniel's, but it doesn't work here and it keeps this from being perfect for me...other than that she looked great. good for her. 

almost good...sooooo close.

these looks could have been great, but they are just destroyed by some minute little details, but come on that's where it's at! the details.

well, sandy bullock won an oscar! her speech had me in tears...i'm not sure if i agree with the choice, but she is a delightful human being and just deserves it. now, this marchesa dress... i want to love it, but i can't. the sleeves and the bodice are magnificent, but something about the wonky velour shiny skirt and the strange hair just bug me. so while i am so happy for her, i just can't love this...at all. 

now, i love this strange chanel haute couture gown, the neckline is just amazing! it's so different and wild and sexy. the jewels are inane! the bracelets and the details along the neckline and back, I DIE!!!! so what you ask ruins this for me? well, do you see her insane nasty hair!? it's ridiculous. she looks a hot tranny mess... who let her leave the house like that? she has a freaking solar system on the back of her head. it's amazing she can even look forward. sjp, i'm not happy. 

gabby sidibe, the cutest, most talented young lady!!! also in marchesa, i think that this young lady rocked this gown... the color, sleeves, bodice, and skirt are just perfect on her, but...but... i am not digging the silver appliques. they seem so sporadic... i don't know, maybe more around the skirt or sleeve... i don't know, any ideas? i think she is brilliant and this is by far my fave from her during this award season. 

i'm not quite in love with this chick. amanda seyfried is freaking everywhere and i can't explain it, but i don't think i like her. she doesn't seem approachable, you know? like you wouldn't want to hang with her... maybe i am very wrong. this armani prive has some amazing details, but it's missing an it factor. her hair pulled back ages her a ton and her bracelets kind of look cheap...sorry, but they do! not the best, but the gown has an interesting something about it. 

jenny from the block is also in armani prive and looks better than she has in months!!! i don't mind the sillouhette on her, she gets this really edgy fresh hip ornament and still shows off her booty. the gown is still pretty boring, but what really does it for me is that hair!? what's going on? did she drive to the oscars with her head hanging out of the sunroof. flyaway, much? i am just bored. so freaking bored. damn you academy awards for ruining my favorite day with boring dresses. balls. 

whoa eyeliner! this gown is pretty fierce, even though it kinda swallows up teeny-tiny nicole richie. it's got that vintage boho vibe going on, super 70's and fablous...but why the freaking makeup overload!? and that hair...the flyaway baby hairs are just the pits. she seriously looks a thousand years old! she is so amazing, so this is just a freaking crying shame. 

eh? i know paula patton is still pregnant, but this carolina herrera is just so boring. the color is beautiful on her, but it's just missing something... maybe a crazy statement necklace or loads of bracelets. i shouldn't speak ill of the knocked up...plus, i don't want dr. jason sever's son, robin thicke, to torture me by singing in a vibrato for hours on end!!!! no please stop!!! too high!!!!

been there, seen that...yawn.

so where are these peoples stylists? these dresses aren't bad, in fact, some of them are beautiful, but my lord haven't we seen them all before. i compiled some comparables for us to look at. try to stay awake while you read them.

okay, so demi moore is one of the most beautiful women breathing on this planet, she stunning and i wish she would tell us what work she has had done because i know that ain't natural. any who, this versace gown is okay, but as you can see penelope cruz, also in versace, did it much better at the 2007 oscars. plus demi's skirt is muuuuch less exciting... she looks like an old cha cha dancer...bore. 

now, lately i haven't loved much that penelope cruz has worn and as lindsay pointed out, at least she isn't wearing black, but this donna karan is basically a much less successful ballgown version of keira knightley's AH-mazing vera wang! nothing about cruz's gown seems fresh...it's just so blah and where the devil is her jewelry! not impressed.

vera farmiga is a weird one and she has a weird taste in gowns... you got to hand it to her, she takes risks. but this is just well, weird. and this odd, sea creature marchesa gown is just not a flattering choice...in fact i don't know who this would actually look good on. in my mind it's a horrid version of camerion diaz's dior gown...diaz's accessories and stature really helps pull off such a big dress. it doesn't work for vera farmiga.

okay, i just doing freaking get it!!!! why is tina fey at the oscars!?!? boo! no. no. no. no...no...no. i realize that she is a talented writer, but i just don't get the hype. she always dresses a hot damn mess, so this micheal kors isn't so bad...IF it wasn't a head to toe knockoff of kate winslet's 2009 oscar ysl ensemble. i mean even the freaking hair is a copy...and it's just all so terribly bad. isn't she like insanely rich now!? hire a freaking stylist! hair, makeup, clothes. all of them. hmph.

 

elizabeth banks is as cute as pie...really. just adorable. but this versace is boring and her jewels are boring... and she has garnier-ed her hair to an odd unnatural blonde color...her makeup is the only great thing about this look. i mean she is lovely, but is basically wearing the dior by john galliano that charlize theron wore to the 2004 oscars. and guess what? it looked like crap then too! this just is the opposite of awesome... i don't get this cha cha thing... i didn't notice this trend on the fashion week runways!? did i just choose to ignore it!? well, it's heinous. 

now i love me some maggie gyllenhaal, but girl is nominated for an oscar and chooses to wear something that she has basically already worn before, it reminds me of a mix of the dries van noten on the left and my favorite lanvin on the right. not cool. she really does look great in this dries van noten, but i just kinda feel robbed. i mean you are nominated for a freaking oscar, you could wear anything! ANYTHING! so why would you choose something you have already done. eh...

sigourney weaver looks great. like super hot, ripley great. but she basically added a broach and a cheapo black ribbon belt to anne hathaway's marchesa... this just doesn't do a damn thing for me. and she is so hot that she could be so much more daring and this just makes me yawn and that belt just freaking kills me!!! terrible!!!! 

i love, love, love mariska hargitay, olivia benson is a bad ass! now, i am kinda confused on way she is at the oscars, but because i love her so very much i will leave that alone. but you gotta give it to me... this vera wang is pretty much a skanky version of jennifer garners odlr oscar 2009 look. right!? i mean the hair, the same... the jewels, the same... the dress, yeah you guessed it, the same!!! so confused...so very confused. 

no.no.no...no.

there was so much boring at this years oscars, but not a whooole lot of terrible...but let's relish in what bad there was...

holy boobies batman. wooooow. clearly someone has drugged charlize theron! call the police because there is no way in hell she picked this dior disaster sober!!! why be tall and beautiful if you are going to misuse it so!!?!?!? it just doesn't seem right! the rest of the gown is no better, what a terrible and not even on trend lilac color!! and the fabric looks wrinkly and cheap...like a bad bridesmaid dress...grody. ew. ew... effing ew. 

hello dynasty!!! so this is a new look for cameron diaz...this is like texas debutante barbie hot damn mess. she is no stranger to hot damn mess, but she is usually a more fashion forward hot damn mess...i mean this oscar de la renta is very pretty, but nothing about this gown suits diaz. what is with that hair? that makeup? those earrings? i think i may throw up...

okay, it's true when molly ringwald walked on stage i giggled with glee! and i thought damn she looks amazing...but after closer examination i am unconvienced. her hair color, skin color, and dress color are perfect...but the weirdo blunt bang/bob is just soooo harsh on her round face...and i quite like the dress, but what-in-the-hell are those metal spirals!!! i mean i know the 80's were her hay-day, but that is just not cute in any way, shape, or form. there's that pesky vomit again... 

okay now i know some of you don't even know who this is...well, this is deborah ann woll she is a brilliant young actress who plays "jessica" on true blood, sooooooo good, i can't wait for it to come back on...well, i am first just going to say i have no freaking idea why she is at the oscars, but this gown is bad... i mean, it's really bad...the color and the bodice of this gown are so unflattering that i don't even know what she was thinking...and the makeup...and the earrings... let's just go ahead and say it...this isn't good. this isn't even okay. this is bad...real bad.