Earlier 2011, June. Was 3 months since my dad was diagnosed with cancer and other illness / dysfunctions in the body. He was diagnosed March, 2011. It was really hard for me to get to thinking that "THIS" happen, I've always thought that my dad was Superman. That he'll always be the strong male leader of the family, to provide, protect, love, and always be there for us. But I was so wrong, I was too busy growing up I forgot that my dad was growing old at the same time.
To cope us with what had been happening, I'd try to always go out day and night with my friends. Bars, clubs, dancing till dawn, sleeping over and not going home for days. Being home depressed me so much, I felt that seeing everything happening and trying to accept will make me crazy. Clearly I was escaping reality. ANYWAYS......... my dad's story will be in another post, my mourning, regrets and everything else.
So in one of my night outs with friends, I met a crush, my age and I like it. Tried to open up a conversation, then we talked and talked and talked about things at we had in common. Also talked about things that we didn't had in common. Feeling ko mas madami ang not in common hahaha!
So we had a follow up, we went out. I think it was a date? But we were with my friends. So we went to a club in Makati, as the night grew we got to share alot more things about us. We're discovering more and more about each other, more of the "not in common stuff". I think at one point tried to get intimate cause some touching came into place. But I did not responded very well to the touching. So I had a thought - "Do I have a problem with intimacy?" I don't know but awkward for the both of us.
The night ended in the morning hehehe, we parted ways. I did not realize that we'll be parting permanently hahaha! Well in my head it was just the 1st time we went out and the 1st time is the 1st time. So if you'll give it a 2nd and 3rd more, then things might just get better or at least really get to know the person well enuff to know if you want to continue going out, get to know more or not. - Guess not!!!
A friend once told me: "1st 5 minutes of meeting someone, you'll know if you want to continue seeing more of a person or not."
Another friend tweeted, quoted from someone else (I forgot lolz): "Not every person you date needs to mean everything. Some are there just to prove that they can mean nothing"
After some months of awkwardness, we got to talk and make kulitan again. So the flirty me, flirted with crush again. But this time di ko na sya crush, I just wanted to flirt. Mukha naman syang masarap iflirt. So we got to talk about the past and sabi nya: "Well you scare me kasi you seem to be having so much fun pa with your life. On the other hand ako... Well i have been through a lot and i am the type who tends to be serious and goal driven."
I have to agree... Then I got to thinking that we're not a match, ifever things will just always get dirty. A big I don't know, but guess the right one will come along. And without to much blah blah, yada yada, kudak kudak and hanash hanash....
Remembering this quote from Sex and the City, Carrie Brashaw said: "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with." Not literally huh, just the concept of the quote. Maybe I'll find someone just my match or someone who is more and get me on my knees (I know what ur thinking by this line and its not it. lolz) . - Good luck.
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