come on, really!?!

so, is it just me or is christina aguilera looking a lil' plump!? is she the p word? because if i recall she totally looked this plump when she was preggo with baby 1. and this way to tight zuhair murad is not helping her fashion cause. the bodice needs to be a good 2 inches higher on her boobies. and somebody needs to do something with that hair... for the love of god that hair... this is pretty terrible...

dear sweet mother of god. helena bonham carter is a crazy. a straight up crazy. a crazy who can act her ass off, but crazy nonetheless. this is just such a hot damn mess that i don't even know where to begin. i mean she's wearing two different shoes... that's just not normal. at all.

whhhooooaaaa big boobies. i don't quite understand how christina hendricks likes to dress herself. this romana keveza is almost okay until you get to the shoulder where it just transforms into a monster. it looks like a 3rd collarbone boob. it's just so unflattering. i mean she's a bombshell and she manages to make herself look like the hunchback of notre dame. 

natalie portman is beautiful. talented. stunning. beautiful. and did i mention talented. and she usually dresses brilliantly, but so much is wrong with this look. the shape of this viktor&rolf dress is perfect for her little bun in the oven, but the rose detail is just ridiculous and the necklace totally doesn't seem to go. and her hair is totally lopsided... she deserves every award she wins for this film, but with this dress she will not be winning any best dressed lists. why wouldn't she enlist the help of her besties over at rodarte!?!? she is so beyond gorgeous and her skin is just beautiful, but this look is not a win. 

poor jennifer love hewitt. why won't this chick hire a stylist!? she is so pretty, always has been, but she totally has this audrey hepburn mentality, so the hair and makeup are no big surprise. vomit. but this romona kevaza just swallows her whole. the crumb catcher is ridiculous... like clown proportions. i think it's the fact that you can't quite tell if it's a natural waist or an empire waist!? i mean her boobs look like triple f's and it's just not great. while the band helps show off her waist the skirt just piles on the pounds... she's far to hot to wear such a sad dress.

holy tatas batman. this is just... wow. needless to say my husband thought this versace was a great look. eye roll. yeah. i think it's just vulgar. i'm all for showing a wee bit of skin, but this is just inappropriate for this ceremony. on top of that, the fit isn't that great and something seems off with the straps are they supposed to be uneven or are they unraveling? yeah, don't like this one bit. 

my lawd he's sexy... oh geez...

best dressed male in gucci. check. ah-mazing singing voice. check. hottest person on the planet. check.

so here it is folks, award season is on!!! i am so happy! gowns, gowns everywhere! and honestly there weren't a ton of hot damn messes. boo. i mean most folks really had it together. there were a few snoozers, but most of the ladies in hollywood did smashingly. not to worry, there were some major yucks too. let the fun begin!!!! 

don't forget to keep reading after the breaks and please comment, let me know who you loved!? hated!? do you agree with my picks? or do you think i was way too harsh? you are totally allowed to disagree with me... you'll be wrong, but you are totally allowed to... 

jewel tones are as sassy as ever... love.

mila kunis didn't win the award, but i flippin' love her dress. this emerald vera wang is just lovely. the ruching is stunning and i LOVE the knots on the shoulder. she just looks fresh and petite and like a real freaking movie star. love the coraly pink lips. she is just adorable. 

omg. love. love. love. this lanvin is making me so happy i can't even tell you. omg. love. julianne moore is very hit or miss with me in fashion. and this is really top notch. it's just the perfect mix of simple and interesting. the neckline is just brilliant!!! i love her hair and makeup. this just really works for me.

okay. this is fabulous. kyra sedgwick really stepped up her game in the emilio pucci. the color of this gown is flawless. reminds me of the jason wu that diane kruger rocked last year to the sag awards. the turquoise and gold earrings are such a chic addition. really dig this.

so, if jane krakowski wasn't super pregnant, i'm not sure if i would like this badgley mischka as much. but the neckline and the empire waist totally works perfectly with her belly. the color is lovely and she just glows. she's gonna be a hot momma. i still hate 30 rock though. just saying.

amber riley is working this dress. she really looks ah-mazing. the dress fits her perfectly. it slims her waist. makes her boobs like ah-mazing. slenderizes her hips. and just looks sexy and womanly. the only thing i'm not loving are her bangs. they seem really heavy and it covers her face so much. but other than that she looks great.

elisabeth moss is rocking her donna karan. she looks great. she has really come into her own on the red carpet. i love her earrings. it still makes me sad that she and fred armisen aren't together. anywho, she did good and i'm sure she'll continue to grow as a stylish lady.

how sexy is this lady!!!??!?! olivia wilde is hot. end of story. and this marchesa is delicious. it's like a chocolate cotton candy heaven with sparkly sprinkles. i mean could she be anymore gorgeous!?!! the only problem i have is the hair. it seems a bit like an afterthought... i love her. i mean she's stunning. she's a vegan. makes me love her even more. stunning.

catherine zeta jones is a babe. end of story. i really love the texture of this monique lhuillier gown and this hunter green against her porcelain skin is just delightful. i mean, she's just hot.

va va va voom. sophia vergara is pretty much the most sexy person on the planet. she and eva mendes really would have to battle it out. so much hotness. this vera wang is on the most flattering gown she has worn ever. her hourglass shape is just ridiculously amazing. she is a total bombshell. look at the tatas! she is awesome and geniusly funny. love her.

oh angie jolie-pitt!!!! i love this versace gown. why are people so mean to her? it's not her fault that jenn aniston wanted to make crap movies and not make babies. i think we can all agree that the world is as it should be... anyways. she's stunning and this color is absolutely perfect for her. her hair could use a little something, but the color is brilliant. love. wow. i was really nice to just about everybody. damn. what's wrong with me!?!

blushing beauties...

so, here they are folks!!! my favorites of the evening were both pinky-peachy calvin klein numbers worn by emma stone and claire danes, respectively. first, emma stone. ohmydearsweetbabyjesus. she's perfect. the blonde hair, the ivory skin, and the simplicity is just beyond genius. i love the peach color on her! it is just out-of-control!!! omg. beautiful. she is stunning. second, claire danes... wow. wow. wow. wow. she won for temple grandin and completely was completely deserved, she's a freaking genius. her neckline is just jawdroppingly fabulous. she's just a tiny little fairy with mad acting skills. both ladies knocked it out of the ballpark. so happy with calvin klein this evening. 

this armani prive had to grow on me because at first i was a little hung up on the pouf in the sleeve, but the more i look at it, the more i flipping love it. the color, the sparkle, the neckline, the back... THE BACK!!!! sooooo beautiful. she's just a knockout. 

yay, heather morris! my favorite gleekster. this chick has a rad body. and this flesh tone sparkler is pretty gorge. it leaves a little to be desired, but she looks pretty unbelievable.

operation megan fox is still in full effect. and she is rocking the hell out of this armani gown. something about the skirt doesn't work for me... i can't quiet put my finger on it... but overall i'd say she was pretty fabulous.

oh lil' ole' carrie underwood at the big award show! i have to say. her style usually annoys me, but this badgley mischka gown is very country barbie. i don't hate it. i like that her hair style is a change up from her norm, so while i don't love this look it's not so bad. she's capable of so much better.

i think this dress is depressing. it would be perfect if she was filming a jane austen film, but alas she is at a freaking modern day award show, so i'm gonna give leighton meester a major FAIL. the only thing that keeps this dress off the disaster list are her genius, out-of-control sexy shoes!!!! ohmygawd. love. everything else... boo.

the newly single, always hot scarjo was a little half and half in book... this elie saab is beautiful, but the gown makes her look kinda squat... she's freaking black widow! she's a babe! why in god's green christ would you wear a gown that makes you look short... just saying. she is beyond sexy, so i suppose she can do whatever the hell she wants, but i would opt for a different neckline and skirt style next go 'round. just saying.

oh saaaandy. she's so smoking hot, but the bangs with the smokey eye paired with the fairy pricess jenny packham gown just goes overboard for me. all of the pieces individually are brilliant, it's just all together it sort of overwhelms tiny sandy. if sh got her hair out of her face and lightened up on the eye makeup this may have been one of my favorites. 

i adore milla jovovich. i have seen perfect getaway at least 20 times. i know. pathetic. but it's so much freaking fun and every time i watch it i am always in shock of how beautiful she is... and her eyes are absolutely STUN-ning!! she looks like a old school hollywood starlet. i think i may love this. the mermaid skirt keeps me from taking the jump to full on love. hmmmm.

i love the bodice of this j.mendel on dianna agron, it reminds me of my wedding dress bodice. i really do love the dress and i think it looks brilliant on her. but the hair and the necklace... not a huge fan. styling is everything and i'm just not feeling it. she really is a beautiful girl though.

heidi klum is smokin' hot. that's a little song i just wrote, called heidi klum is smokin' hot. i saw nicole richie rock this marc jacobs gown in the new lucky magazine and i was OBSESSED. so, even though it's not a typical red carpet dress, i really love the california cool vibe that it gives off. her hair and makeup are super beach sexy... it just seem kinda wrong for the occasion, but i suppose german supermodels can do whatever the geez-o-petes they want!!! you rock it hot mama.

despite rumors that lea michelle is a complete bitch, i still think she is beyond fabulous. i mean diva doesn't have to equal bitch. and i actually love her hair and makeup. i mean beautiful! but she has a tendency to wear gowns that overwhelm her tiny frame and i sorta feel the same way about this cotton candy pink oscar de la renta. it just makes her look like shapes. not entirely flattering. but honey can SANG....

nicole kidman. yawn. in prada. yawn. with straight, side-parted hair. yawn......... sorry i fell asleep what were we talking about!? 

what is it with j.lo and the super white eyes? i mean we know how old you are, so that doesn't trick us into thinking you are 26... this zuhair murad gown just does nothing for me... i was digging the 70's thing, but it's just almost too literal... i don't know... she just does very little for me now a days.

yay modern family!!!! julie bowen is fricking hilarious!!! omg. she cracks me up and let me tell you this women has an unbelievable body!!! wowzas! this todashi soji is sorta bland on her, but lucky for her she'd look brilliant in a paper bag...this sorta looks like a paper bag... but with ruffles... hmm... yeah it's not awesome. 

black is back... and still kinda boring...

eva longoria is a babe. no arguments there. and poor lady has had a hell of a tough year, but in this zac posen she just looks hot. the cutout in the back is AH-mazing. her body is so out of control, so why this gown is simple it is in no way basic or boring. the cute is brilliant. and no one wheres a nude lip like this chick. HOT. 

so, this isn't the best, but this oscar de la renta is still very classy and i love her simple pony and liquid liner and red lips. the dress is really dull, but it was her first award show so i think she played it safe. so i ain't mad her. she'll get better at it because come on... she's so cute. 

so, i literally started watching dexter this morning. i'm obsessed already. 4 episodes and i can't stop. so i can't wait to get to julia stiles character. i think i have a while to go ;) but she looks pretty. her hair and makeup are lovely. this romana kevaza is pretty dull. the shoulder is pretty, but the bodice and skirt is a bit too jennifer garner in oscar de la renta at the oscars. so not very exciting.

okay... little jayma mayes is super cute and i love ms. pillsbury/stamos and she is normally so sweet and pretty, so i can appreciate that she is breaking out from her normal cutesy style. but this alberta ferretti really doesn't work for me. the hair is very veronica lake, but this all just looks a bit forced. 

i don't know why i don't ever seem to love what amy adams wears... but i don't like it. this just seems so blah and blah and blah. she is so bright and bubbly and fiercely talented, but this look just looks drab. she is so much better than this... i expect more at the oscars lady!!!

whoaza!!!! that's a lot of skin. halle berry and i have a sordid past... she won an oscar that should've gone to nicole kidman and i've been bitter ever since... don't get me started on how she ruin catwoman. dude, i still hope to be catwoman when i grow up... whenever that happens... this nina ricci just doesn't do it for me. i mean she is stunning, clearly, but this gown is more mtv than golden globes. not awesome.

this chick is stunning. omg. beautiful. jennifer lawerence is a total knockout and this louis vuitton almost works for me. from the waist up it's perfect. i absolutely adore the bodice, love. her hair and makeup are super chic, but that skirt just doesn't work for me. i am not a fan of chacha skirts. and it just makes the dress a fail for me. sorry. but it does.

ugh. julliane hough is a dancer and country singer... please explain why she is at the globes... and wearing this depressing dress. the fit of the gown is nice and her makeup is very pretty, but the garish neckline and helmet hair just spoil this look for me. i think simplicity is in right now and maybe she has been too busy dancing with sorta-stars to read a fashion mag, but this isn't working at all in my book. pretty girl, ugly dress.