so, i was busy minding my own business watching new episodes of true blood and entourage. soooo good. and then i see a frenzy on twitter. the vmas are on. yaaaaaaaay. that was said with mucho sarcasm. after getting our hbo on we switched over to mtv. OHMYGOD. shoot me in foot. what is wrong with the world!?!?
ok, forget the world... what is wrong with lady gaga!?!?!!? so now she is cross dressing as the karate kid and that's art!?(thanks gina) she is so full of her own crap that i think she actually believes that she is an innovative artist... let's break it down. she is a mildly talented, decent looking girl who writes super catchy tunes and dresses and acts like a moron in hopes that people will think she's a genius... she is not. i am not buying whatever shit she's selling. but enough of her madness. on to the fashion. keep reading past the break for all the fun.
zoe saldana. one of the only ensembles of the night that didn't make me want to vomit in my mouth. this barbara bui dress is freaking ah-mzing. it's the perfect mix of chic and bad ass. and the shoes. oh holy yes, the shoes. the proportions of the dress are so genius... but remind me, why the hell is zoe saldana at the vmas? just saying.
katie holmes. joey potter. mrs. crazy-pants cruise. girl looks hot. i mean you have to give it to her. the hair is brilliant and sexy without a billion extensions. the dress is super cute and incredibly flattering... the boots are a little iffy but overall super cute. once again, whhhhy is she there? her scary movie is in theatres?! yeah, i'll pass...
mrs. jay-z is with child. biiiiig surprise. but momma beyonce is looking hot in lanvin. this is more elegance than the vmas deserves... it may even be overkill. but love the jewels. love the color. i'd say this is pretty fabulous.... and hey, at least she's a musician and it makes sense for her to attend to show.
oh adele. adele. adele. adele. i LOVE adele and i am majorly positively sure that she was the only performance worth watching on the show. she's a brilliant musician and she proves it buy writing emotional and beautiful songs and singing them... no showy dancers, no synthesized auto tune. she just sings. go figure. she is so talented, but i gotta say not loving her look. the dress is fine. the makeup is the usual. the hose and shoes are typical too... but the hair... it's just so silly. she is still amazing.
so this is cute, a little kid dressing up like demi moore in the 80's. i can't understand this look at all. selena gomez is an adorable girl and she's beautiful. so why?! answer me! why does a young pretty girl wants to look like elvira?! i mean, this is gross. it looks like someone super glued shit from the halloween party store on her gown. ew. ew. ew. she looks so old. i mean, i want to have a fashion intervention. sit her down and tell her she's beautiful and that this is not acceptable.
oh britster... you know, she doesn't look as bad as she has in recent years. i mean, her hair looks great. her make up looks great. the outfit itself, a romper, isn't awful. but the boots. oh the boots. yuck. i mean, when you are built like a cheerleader, muscular and squat, you want to elongate your legs, with say a nude pump or sandal... these boots cut her off at the ankle making her look super short and really make her calves look chunky, which is not the case. brit, give me a call. i could def solve your styling issues. other than adele, her "tribute" was the most fun... it was actually really awesome, all those lil' mini brits. super cute.
uuuuugggghhh. WHY ARE YOU FAMOUS!?!?! this gown is so off. from the front it just looks like any other boring tight dress kk would wear. i can't put my finger on it, but the back sheer panel actually makes it look like she has love handles. and that's not a good look on anyone, not even a super famous drag queen... too far?
oh my lord. what is this? seriously? someone tell me... quick before i start breaking things. the ysl pin, the jeans, the shoes, the chains... so terrible. he looks like a chick who wants to be a dude. there is nothing i can say to make this better... i am just going to get meaner. the end.
oh dear. i feel really bad for this poor girl. demi lovato has had a tough year. rehab for unnamed reasons... i'm gonna go ahead and say for eating disorder or drugs... because she really puffed up. and she is trying to cover it up with a horrid spray tan, giant fake hair, and a terrible dress. hopefully she can get her life together. there is only room for one lalohan in this world. too young to be so messed up.
katy perry is such a special lady. i mean "special" like in the head. i don't understand a single decision she makes, fashion or otherwise. except for maybe marrying russell brand, he's a GENIUS. her music is a mystery to me... but what i do know is that her hair is gonna be so tore up from this pink. omg. it's gonna be a bitch to die back and it must be soooooo dry... yes, that was a random tangent.
mmmmkay. nicki minaj is a super weird cat. like suuuuper weird. but i have to say the music i have heard she is pretty fabulous. i've never actually listened to her solo stuff. but on kayne's album she is brilliant. she says it best, "you can be the king, but watch the queen conquer." LOVE it. but i still can't get behind the fashion. it looks like a lisa frank store vomited on her. i'm sick of musicians "expressing" themselves through their clothing. it's about attention, not the music and i am super tired of fame whores... i'm still undecided about her.
woooow. okay. so when smiley cyrus walked on stage i said, "wow, lauren conrad looks like shit." in this roberto cavalli gown hannah montana manages to age herself at least 10 years. if not 30. she is a cute girl and she's tall and she's skinny... her people shouldn't let her make mistakes like this. my nanny has better sense than to wear this grandma crap. side note. if you have never seen the miley cyrus show on snl you are missing out. sooooo funny.
i don't think these young kids realize that they can look grown up without looking senior. not a single one of these young stars looks fresh and fashionable. it's the "grown ups" who get it right. maybe it's true that youth is wasted on the young... but these youth have bajillions of dollars and million dollar stylists. someone should be telling them no. that's why so many of these kids are so effed up... if you can't tell them they look like crap for an award show, how are you gonna tell them no when it comes to important things like drugs and whatnot... perhaps it's a bit of a stretch, but i am sick of seeing children treated like they are adults... whoa. got deep for a second.
so, what do you think? are the vmas absolutely ridiculous? are you as tired of all of these children's private lives splashed all over the news!? what do you think of the fashion? pretty bad, right!?
